O great—another list of expectations. As if you needed any more expectations on you. I think its highly possible that people pull away or pull back from church because they sense expectations that they can’t meet, or worse—expectations that are unclear. I don’t know if this can be substantiated by statistics, but I’ve talked to friends, and heard even more stories of people who were overwhelmed by those expectations and went to a church—sometimes a really large one—so that they could take a break, fade into the woodwork, and maybe just expect something for themselves out of the experience for once.

If you grow up in church culture, expectations can start early. The first one I remember was, “sit down and be quiet.” I actually started writing a list of expectations I felt growing up. It got too long. I also realized that I had, unintentionally, passed on those expectations to my kids, most of them unspoken expectations.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It can get pretty intense. What I’ve been questioning a lot is what the distinctions might be between what is expected from people at/by the church and what is expectected of people by the Lord himself. Interestingly enough, a lot of the New Testament is written to try to sort this out. Ephesians, Colossians, Galatians deal with the expectations of the believers who were raised in traditional Judaism related to those who weren’t. Jesus’ biggest confrontations with people had to do with the expectations of religious people that actually got in the way of genuine spirituality. Often, those expectations were so intense that people just gave up.

So, what expectations do you feel from church: Sit down and be quiet? Dress nicely but don’t be too flashy? Be nice and polite? Pay Up? Be present three out of four Sundays? Don’t ask the serious questions that you have? Come to all the stuff?   

Now, I realize that the expectations are different, or ought to be, of those who are exploring faith, and those who have actually bought in to it. Right now, I’m focusing on those who have bought in.

Now, I’m not saying that those expectations should be low or easy. But, I do believe they should be simple and as clear as these things can be. Here is what I’ve been praying about, working on, talking to leaders about and trying to figure out how to infuse into the practical life of our church family. A follower of Jesus should…
Connect: by that, I mean be intentional about developing an authentic relationship with God and with others in a loving community. After all, God’s plan is to “reconcile” people to Him and each other through Jesus Christ.
Grow: by that, I mean, becoming more and more transformed in our character into the people God intends us to be. It means continually becoming more Christlike—and moving intentionally in that direction.
Serve: Becoming more Christlike means adopting his approach to life—to relationships, to work, to the needs around him—and his approach was that of a servant.

All of these things are responses to God’s grace. All are initiated and empowered by God Himself. God initiated a connection with us by sending his Son to show what God is like, and to take on our brokenness and sin on himself thus reconcile us to him. Then, God gave us His Holy Spirit to Grow in us up into knowing Him and in Christlike character. And then, God gifted us and invited us into partnership with Him in serving and blessing the world that God loves.  And he simply desires us to do these things in a way that brings others along on the journey.

So, believers, here are the most pertinent questions: Are you connecting? That is, are you in authentic communion with God and others? If not, why not? What’s getting in the way? More specifically, what is your own part in removing those blocks in the relationship? Are you growing in Christlikeness? Do you know how? Are you taking opportunities to grow and engaging in the spiritual disciplines through which God’s Spirit transforms you? Are you serving? Have you answered the invitation to partner with God in what He’s doing? Are you using your abilities to add value to the people around you? Are you holding back? If so, why?

Now, what if together as a church family we embraced these three, Connecting, Growing and Serving, as the overarching guide for our life and ministry together? As part of the church family, each of us were committed to intentionally doing these three things and progressing in them? What if we saw helping people to connect, then grow, then find a place of service as a progressive process of fulfilling Jesus’ great commission—to make disciples? What if the way we planned everything we do was in alignment with helping people progress in that process: Developing followers of Jesus who connect, grow and serve.  

Simple—Yeah, I think so. Easy—not so much. Worth it? The apostle Paul wrote:
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me (Colossians 1:28-29).

Worth It? Definitely.

Yours for the Journey,
Pastor Tom